This day has been coming for a while now. I knew your daddy and I wanted another little one to love, spoil, and share life with. We also knew we wanted to give you the pleasure of having a sibling to grow up with, love on, and annoy with every breath you take, of course. Then, when we least expected it, a little plus sign changed our lives.
What I didn't know then is how I'd be feeling now. The excitement and joy that comes along with expanding our family also comes with a feeling of sadness and loss that's hard to explain. You see, you've been my whole world for the last 4 years. From prayers of conception and infertility treatments, picking the best daycare, crying when I had to go back to work, holding you through your first illness, watching you take your first steps, getting to finally stay home with you, enrolling you in your first dance class, to teaching you your ABC's, 123's, and everything in between; we've created our own little world and I'm so happy here it seems impossible to pack up our metaphorical bags and embark on the new journey our family's been called to go on.
As we prepare for your brother to enter the world and make us a family of 4, I'm very happy and thankful to God for such a blessing and although I know this melancholy feeling will be replaced with unbridled bliss the moment he arrives, there are a few things I want you to know before he does.
No One Will Ever Take Your Place
You came to us via a 22 hour labor and it's my personal theory that your life just required a grand entrance. You had to set the tone of your life's stage because you've yet to do anything small since. You're an all or nothin' kind of gal and I adore you for it. You made us parents. You loved us through all of our mistakes and you continue to show us grace as we continue to screw it all up. You made us a family and you remind us daily of what it means to love unconditionally. Your brother will be wonderful. My guess is he'll look just like your daddy, have your happy heart, and live a great life for the Lord in whatever way he's called to do so. He'll make our family larger and complete us in a whole new way, but the one thing he could never do is move in on the piece of land you own in our hearts.
Things Will Change
Once Malakhi's here we'll have less time together and more of my focus will have to be on him because babies need their mommy's more than big girls like you do. He'll cry when you're trying to sleep, need fed when you want to play, and need changed when I'm in the middle of making your lunch. This will be hard at first, but this is when I'll rely on the servants heart God has blessed you with and I know you'll put his needs before your own with only a minimal amount of grumbling.
You Made Me Better
Along with the beautiful world of parenthood comes a whole new kind of love and you've taught me more in 3 short years than I could ever hope to teach you throughout the remainder of your precious life. If it weren't for you I wouldn't know how to show myself grace, love beyond expectations, or know what it means to receive a miracle. You changed my life for the better in a million different ways and I'm a better human being because of it.
I Will Miss You
I will always make time for mommy/daughter dates and one on one cuddle sessions, but they'll occur with much less frequency than they do now and I'll miss you. I'll miss our 30 minute long morning conversations, picnics on the floor, and dance parties where the guest list consists of just the 2 of us. I'll miss the world we've created and the way it seems to spin in slow motion just for us, but I also know that I'll soon be falling in love with the new world we create with your brother and I can't wait to fill said world with new memories, traditions, and secrets between just the 3 of us.
You Will Be An Amazing Big Sister
Actually, you already are. Your face lights up when you get to wear your "Big Sister" shirt, you worry it might hurt him when I inject my insulin, you love helping put away his clothes and assemble his baby gear, and you're beyond eager to meet him. I answer questions like "will he be happy when he comes out of your tummy?" and "can I help change his diapers?" on a regular basis because your sweet little heart is already so full of love for him, which is how I know you're gonna rock this big sister thing.
Thank you for making me a mommy and doing this thing called life with daddy and I.
With all the love my heart can hold,
XOXO Mommy
What I didn't know then is how I'd be feeling now. The excitement and joy that comes along with expanding our family also comes with a feeling of sadness and loss that's hard to explain. You see, you've been my whole world for the last 4 years. From prayers of conception and infertility treatments, picking the best daycare, crying when I had to go back to work, holding you through your first illness, watching you take your first steps, getting to finally stay home with you, enrolling you in your first dance class, to teaching you your ABC's, 123's, and everything in between; we've created our own little world and I'm so happy here it seems impossible to pack up our metaphorical bags and embark on the new journey our family's been called to go on.
As we prepare for your brother to enter the world and make us a family of 4, I'm very happy and thankful to God for such a blessing and although I know this melancholy feeling will be replaced with unbridled bliss the moment he arrives, there are a few things I want you to know before he does.
No One Will Ever Take Your Place
You came to us via a 22 hour labor and it's my personal theory that your life just required a grand entrance. You had to set the tone of your life's stage because you've yet to do anything small since. You're an all or nothin' kind of gal and I adore you for it. You made us parents. You loved us through all of our mistakes and you continue to show us grace as we continue to screw it all up. You made us a family and you remind us daily of what it means to love unconditionally. Your brother will be wonderful. My guess is he'll look just like your daddy, have your happy heart, and live a great life for the Lord in whatever way he's called to do so. He'll make our family larger and complete us in a whole new way, but the one thing he could never do is move in on the piece of land you own in our hearts.
Things Will Change
Once Malakhi's here we'll have less time together and more of my focus will have to be on him because babies need their mommy's more than big girls like you do. He'll cry when you're trying to sleep, need fed when you want to play, and need changed when I'm in the middle of making your lunch. This will be hard at first, but this is when I'll rely on the servants heart God has blessed you with and I know you'll put his needs before your own with only a minimal amount of grumbling.
You Made Me Better
Along with the beautiful world of parenthood comes a whole new kind of love and you've taught me more in 3 short years than I could ever hope to teach you throughout the remainder of your precious life. If it weren't for you I wouldn't know how to show myself grace, love beyond expectations, or know what it means to receive a miracle. You changed my life for the better in a million different ways and I'm a better human being because of it.
I Will Miss You
I will always make time for mommy/daughter dates and one on one cuddle sessions, but they'll occur with much less frequency than they do now and I'll miss you. I'll miss our 30 minute long morning conversations, picnics on the floor, and dance parties where the guest list consists of just the 2 of us. I'll miss the world we've created and the way it seems to spin in slow motion just for us, but I also know that I'll soon be falling in love with the new world we create with your brother and I can't wait to fill said world with new memories, traditions, and secrets between just the 3 of us.
You Will Be An Amazing Big Sister
Actually, you already are. Your face lights up when you get to wear your "Big Sister" shirt, you worry it might hurt him when I inject my insulin, you love helping put away his clothes and assemble his baby gear, and you're beyond eager to meet him. I answer questions like "will he be happy when he comes out of your tummy?" and "can I help change his diapers?" on a regular basis because your sweet little heart is already so full of love for him, which is how I know you're gonna rock this big sister thing.
Thank you for making me a mommy and doing this thing called life with daddy and I.
With all the love my heart can hold,
XOXO Mommy