Justin and I's 5th wedding anniversary is this weekend, which has caused so many thoughts to flow through my head and so much love to pour from my heart that I just can't help but write it down! It's easy to say that 5 years is nothing in terms of a lifelong marriage, but the truth is that without the first 5 (or even 2) years you'll never get to the 50th, and truth be told, a lot happens in 5 years. My husband and I have battled infertility and a variety of other health concerns, sat at a loved ones funeral, faced our first few years of parenthood, and launched two businesses together - all in the 5 short years we've been married. We've had a lot of ups and downs, but with our love for one another and the grace of God we've made it through. With that said I'd like to share with you the 5 lessons married life has taught me so far!
1. It's Not About Me
This one took awhile to sink in, but marriage isn't about what makes me happy, it's about what makes my spouse happy. Have I made his favorite meal lately? Am I giving him enough support? Is he getting enough rest? Have we laughed together today? How long has it been since I've done something special just for him? These are the questions I have to ask myself on a regular basis in order to fulfill my role in our marriage because marriage isn't about me, it's about our life together, and if both people put the other first it's amazing what can happen!
2. The Little Things Are The Big Things
Grand gestures are nice, but they don't mean much if your day to day life together isn't filled with love and a mutual respect for one another. Therefore, it really does matter if I iron his clothes, if he picks up his shoes, if I make his lunch, if he makes my coffee, etc., etc., etc., because those little things say "Hey, I love you, I love to serve you, and although I'm not perfect, my heart is in the right place."
3. Keep Your Mouth Shut (it's worth it)
I'm unusually expressive (if you know me I know you're laughing right now). If something enters my mind it has a tendency to flow from my mouth before I've given it a proper amount of thought, but it's not just a matter of thinking before I speak, it's a matter of not expressing every single complaint I have in my head whether it's valid or not. He forgot to put a trash bag in the trash can, he left 6 pairs of shoes in random places throughout the house, he left his breakfast dishes out...again. These are things I think, but it's up to me to decide whether or not they'll ever reach his ears. And here's the thing; marriages have been ruined over dumber things than nagging so I have to ask myself "is this worth going to battle for?" and most of the time the answer will be a big fat no. However, I'm still learning and I still complain much more than I should to the kind, caring, and helpful man I get to call my husband, in which case I'm thankful for his ability to overlook my selfishness.
4. Give Grace
Marriage is the most intimate relationship you'll ever be a part of, which means you'll see your spouse at their worst. They'll say and do things you never thought they'd say or do. Forgive them anyways. No one is perfect and marriage isn't for the faint of heart, so show them grace until you feel like you don't have any left to give. Then dig deeper until you find a way to give more.
5. Keep God At The Center
By far the most important lesson I've learned in the 5 short years I've been married is that God belongs front and center of my marriage and when He's not, the water gets rough and the boat begins to rock. I thought I knew how to do this when I got married, but I quickly realized it's easy to stay focused on God when things are going great, but it's significantly more difficult when things are hard, which is when I need to lean on Him the hardest, so I have to make the conscious decision to look to Him to grow and strengthen my marriage. He hears my prayers and knows my hearts deepest desires, so who better to run to when things get rocky?
The most amazing thing about marriage is that you get to spend every day of your life with your best friend. With that said, words could never explain how incredibly grateful I am for my wonderful husband and the beautiful life we've built together! Thank you so much honey for loving me when I'm unlovable, being there for me when I need you, being such an amazing father to our daughter and most of all serving the Lord with your whole heart. I couldn't be any prouder to call you mine! Happy 5th Anniversary!
1. It's Not About Me
This one took awhile to sink in, but marriage isn't about what makes me happy, it's about what makes my spouse happy. Have I made his favorite meal lately? Am I giving him enough support? Is he getting enough rest? Have we laughed together today? How long has it been since I've done something special just for him? These are the questions I have to ask myself on a regular basis in order to fulfill my role in our marriage because marriage isn't about me, it's about our life together, and if both people put the other first it's amazing what can happen!
2. The Little Things Are The Big Things
Grand gestures are nice, but they don't mean much if your day to day life together isn't filled with love and a mutual respect for one another. Therefore, it really does matter if I iron his clothes, if he picks up his shoes, if I make his lunch, if he makes my coffee, etc., etc., etc., because those little things say "Hey, I love you, I love to serve you, and although I'm not perfect, my heart is in the right place."
3. Keep Your Mouth Shut (it's worth it)
I'm unusually expressive (if you know me I know you're laughing right now). If something enters my mind it has a tendency to flow from my mouth before I've given it a proper amount of thought, but it's not just a matter of thinking before I speak, it's a matter of not expressing every single complaint I have in my head whether it's valid or not. He forgot to put a trash bag in the trash can, he left 6 pairs of shoes in random places throughout the house, he left his breakfast dishes out...again. These are things I think, but it's up to me to decide whether or not they'll ever reach his ears. And here's the thing; marriages have been ruined over dumber things than nagging so I have to ask myself "is this worth going to battle for?" and most of the time the answer will be a big fat no. However, I'm still learning and I still complain much more than I should to the kind, caring, and helpful man I get to call my husband, in which case I'm thankful for his ability to overlook my selfishness.
4. Give Grace
Marriage is the most intimate relationship you'll ever be a part of, which means you'll see your spouse at their worst. They'll say and do things you never thought they'd say or do. Forgive them anyways. No one is perfect and marriage isn't for the faint of heart, so show them grace until you feel like you don't have any left to give. Then dig deeper until you find a way to give more.
5. Keep God At The Center
By far the most important lesson I've learned in the 5 short years I've been married is that God belongs front and center of my marriage and when He's not, the water gets rough and the boat begins to rock. I thought I knew how to do this when I got married, but I quickly realized it's easy to stay focused on God when things are going great, but it's significantly more difficult when things are hard, which is when I need to lean on Him the hardest, so I have to make the conscious decision to look to Him to grow and strengthen my marriage. He hears my prayers and knows my hearts deepest desires, so who better to run to when things get rocky?
The most amazing thing about marriage is that you get to spend every day of your life with your best friend. With that said, words could never explain how incredibly grateful I am for my wonderful husband and the beautiful life we've built together! Thank you so much honey for loving me when I'm unlovable, being there for me when I need you, being such an amazing father to our daughter and most of all serving the Lord with your whole heart. I couldn't be any prouder to call you mine! Happy 5th Anniversary!